


Things I can't

by LarryHazMyHeart



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anger, Boyfriends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One Shot, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-23
Updated: 2013-06-23
Packaged: 2017-12-15 20:35:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/853790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LarryHazMyHeart/pseuds/LarryHazMyHeart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>~Prompt taken from tumblr~  ( written for ufniall)</p><p>'A fic where Harry and Louis are dating and Louis has to go on a fake date and it's on Harry's POV on how he deals with seeing Louis leave and he can't do it anymore and one day he just goes crazy drinking too much and starts throwing picture frames of him and Louis because he CAN'T anymore and he just needs Louis with him and he keeps on calling for Louis to come back to him and be with him and cries and he keeps on staring at the door waiting for him to come back'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things I can't

At first I was okay. Everything was fine, but now..now I don't know what to do with myself.

Louis has gone on three dates now. Three dates without me. Three absolute fake dates. Things aren't supposed to be this way. I'm Louis' and Louis is mine. To the public we're nothing but 'friends' because it's 'wrong for boys to like boys'. Seeing him leaving our flat, out our front door kills me. I just cannot deal with this anymore. It's hurting me it's hurting me really bad.

~

I'm home alone waiting. Continuously waiting for Louis to return home from his 'date'. It's driving me insane. I crack open a beer, one after another, drinking away all of my pain. My heart hurts, hurts to the point that I can't even focus. I need Louis. I need my Louis. I need him here with me. I need him, and I need him Now.

At 12:oo am I can't handle this insanity anymore. By now I have a whole 12 pack of beer running throughout my system, but I don't care anymore. I get up off the couch staggering my way over to the fridge, my vision is blurred quite some bit, but I like it this way. If I can't have Louis I need something, anything to keep my mind off it.

I grab 2 beers out of the fridge slowly making my way back to my spot on the couch. Something must have been in my way considering I tripped and fell smashing my body into the picture cabinet. Doing this completely me infuriates me seeing picture beyond picture. Louis on the beach, me and Louis at the fair. Louis this Louis that. Something inside me jolts and I completely lose it. I am 100% done with everything. I grab picture after picture firing them, as they come smashing down onto the floor, glass shattering everywhere. In the very back of the cabinet I see the very first picture of the 2 of us that we ever took together, back at the X-Factor days. The good old days, where everything was fine. I was fine, we were fine.

Things are different now.

My might takes over as I trash the entire glass cabinet sending it crashing down the the floor pieces flying everywhere.

I feel like a wild animal with the way I am moving throughout the entire flat grabbing anything I can get my hands on and breaking it. I go into my room taking my long mirror off the back of the door and throw as hard as I possibly can, destroying it to bits.

Everything is too much. Too much to deal with. Too much to handle.

I want Louis...

Where is Louis..

My anger level has come down as I feel the hurt and emotion sweep over me. My back hits against a near wall as I feel my whole body weight sliding down the wall. I grab my knees making me feel as small as ever. I curl up in a ball wrapping my arms around my body gripping anything I can. I bring my hand to my hair pulling it, and pulling it hard. I feel the tears start to swell as they begin streaming down my face. Not stopping. I can't see anything anymore my vision now blurred more than it ever was before.

My body trembles shaking continuously, not being able to stay still. The tears still streaming down my face.

I call out for Louis only wanting for him to be here. I need his presence with me.

Louis is the only thing I need. The only thing I want.

Louis is the only one who can save me.

I scream out his name, over and over not sure of what else to do. Each time it gets louder, my voice sounding week and raspy from the salted tears.

"Lou..." I murmur.

"Louis...I need you... Louis ...please..."

My body begins to shut down slowly sinking down, feeling the cold floor below my bare skin.

"Louis...please." I barely whisper. My head against the cold tiles.

I grab a near by pillow not sure of what else to do. I squeeze it tight against my body. Needing to feel something.. anything.

~

I'm not sure how much time has passed as my body feels completely numb. 

I feel ashamed, tired, drained. I feel like I am nothing. Weightless.

I'm a pathetic nothing who was placed on this earth for no reason.

Lifeless.

~

Before I know what is going on I hear something. I'm not really sure what it is though. The door unlocking maybe?

My whole head feels like a weight. My eyes heavy not wanting to open.

"Harry!?!?"

Am I dreaming? I must be dreaming. I don't bother moving my limp body from my spot on the floor.

"HARRY!?"

There it is again....what is going on?

Not a minute later I feel the warm touch of another body; unsure of who or what it is.

I feel arms wrapping around me, not sure of what to do. I don't move, my eyes still closed shut. The voice sounds strange, yet familiar..I really am lost; confused.

"Harry...open your eyes..do it please. Do something!..." The voice hushes to a whisper. Hurt is what I hear in the voice. Absolute pain.

"Babe...I need you to focus..you're okay..I'm here. Open your eyes...for me?"

Hearing this something takes over my body. Though I don't try, something in my body takes over, telling me I need to open my eyes and I need to do it Now.

It takes some times though eventually I am able to pull my heavy eyes open, seeing a blur in front of me..nothing is clear everything seems foggy.

"Harry..can you hear me.. babe?"

One by one objects start to come insight. The front door still open, the kitchen light. There is glass on the floor. Everywhere. Items are sprawled around the room broken things all over the entire flat. That's when my eyes come in contact with bright angel like blue ones. Absolutely gorgeous.

"Lou...Louis..?" I choke out. "Is it you?" There is all different emotions in my voice. Fear, surprise, shock, and love above all things.

"Babe..of course it's me..Why wouldn't it be. I'm here Harry. I'm here for you."

I sit up my body still shockingly heavy, as I almost loose my balance. I feel Louis arm wrap around me supporting my entire frame.

"Louis...I just.. I ..."

"You what babe..? it's okay, you can say it" He smiles warmly, looking down at me with sincere eyes.

"I just want you to know I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...I just lost control..I lost it because I couldn't handle it anymore. I couldn't handle you not being here..you being out with..her. You're mine..you're supposed to be mine and ... and I'm supposed to be yours and-"

"Shhh baby. Don't ever apologize. Don't ever be sorry. I'm here now. I'm here with you. You're okay. I'm okay. We're okay. To me that is all that matters okay? I love you. I love you to the moon and back.."

"You mean it..you really mean it?" I ask with hope in my voice.

"Of course I mean it I wouldn't say I did if I didn't."

"But....but what about .."

"Sarah?" Louis asks locking his eyes with mine.

"Yeah..her.." I trail off, looking to the side.

"Don't worry about her alright? I 'broke things off ' with her. I couldn't do it. I don't care what anyone says. I wont go around pretending I'm in relationships with these women just for the sake of protecting us. I want to be with you and only you."

I don't say anything, looking up to him I feel like I am on top of the world.

"And guess what? I decided that tomorrow we are going to get through this..we're going to tell management that we're done with pretending. I don't want to hide anymore. I don't want to hide us."

The only words that came to my mouth were 'I love you Louis..I love you so much.'

"Harry..I love you too.I love you so damn much it hurts"

"Hey Louis..?" I ask shyly.

"Yeah babe? What is it..? He says back cutely.

"I'm sorry about this.. I'm sorry about the mess. I'm just sorry about everything. I completely destroyed our flat.." I say feeling guilty. Looking around at the trashed apartment.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. We'll deal with that tomorrow, in the morning. Right now all I want to do is curl up in bed with you by my side because I love you. I want you and only you."

That was something I was okay with.

That was the only thing in the world that I could wish for.


End file.
